This is Hank…

19 Mar

He was a free puppy.  Michael picked him up from a makeshift pen in someone’s backyard, one of eleven puppies in an accidental litter.  Now, two years old, Hank loves normal dog things: hiking, running, chasing birds and digging holes in the yard; and human things: sleeping on a bed, riding in a car and most of all…eating people food.  However, whether the less-than-perfect dog vision or youthful curiosity is to blame, Hank has expanded his hunt for delicious people food to well, anything that piques his interest.

When choosing something to chew, consume or destroy Hank does not discriminate against things that are inedible, unreachable or hazardous.  Standard dog toys are no match for his thirst for stuffing; empty carcasses of plush-comrades have been shaken for days before surrendering to the trash; rubber, Nylabone (yeah, right) and anything claiming to be good for teeth or “super-extra-tough” is shredded into tiny chunks and consumed. Because of his hunger for variety, we’ve never been able to pinpoint what exactly attracts his attention, therefore spend at least 10 minutes before leaving the house hank proofing.  Hank proofing is a fun game where we hide, put away and stow anything smelly, sparkly, wiggly, pointy, jingly, shakable, breakable, valuable and those wild card items where you just don’t know (so you hide it anyways).

Despite our efforts, opening the front door is always an adventure.  More often then not we find some treasure Hank has claimed and, (with some valuable exceptions) end up snapping a photo and  laughing about a) his determination b) his technique c) the remnants d) his current physical condition or e) all of the above.  Family & friends inevitably  get a daily dose of Hank’s exploits plus a photo, so I thought I (see below) would extend our documentation to the Internet-machine and all of you who miss out on Stuff Hank Eats.

Ever get in trouble for something when you were young that despite tirelessly explaining to Mom & Dad that your older sibling told you to do it, you were blamed for anyways?  Well, Hank has an older sister, best friend, partner in crime named AltaAlta is my Heinz-57 mix of German Shepherd and Doberman; she’s five and very bossy.  While we haven’t been able to prove anything, there’s a good chance Alta is behind most of Hank’s antics…even though she is typically curled up on the couch overseeing Hank’s newest disaster unfold with a Cheshire Cat smile curled on her face.

Now, before any of you Harbor Dog owners point any fingers…I must add a disclaimer that Hank and his puppy training were never neglected, nor was he ever given dinner scraps off plates, fed from the table or allowed to beg.  We worked extensively to train him on Invisible Fence, potty training and the basic commands, which so far, he obeys without a problem.  He gets regular, rigorous exercise: hiking, swimming and romps at the dog park; and is only left at home occasionally during the workday.

Due to inevitable sad moods and excessive crying, I’m no longer allowed to watch dog movies so I’ve never seen Marley & Me…but this documentation is not a heartfelt story about the dog that “changed our lives forever”.  Although, after reading a few of these Hank-tales, it’ll  be obvious that, to us, the value of having dogs that can outsmart hiding places, love unconditionally and make us laugh-till-we-cry on a daily basis, far outweighs the cost of replacing, well, a lot of stuff.

So, Hank, Alta, Michael & I hope you enjoy your frequent dose of Stuff Hank Eats.  Cheers!

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3 Responses to “This is Hank…”

  1. Robin March 21, 2011 at 2:40 AM #

    Wow… What a CUTE pup!!!! I can’t imagine he does bad stuff….. Just look at that face!

  2. Jake Hansen March 21, 2011 at 3:57 PM #

    This is quite possibly the greatest thing in the whole world.

  3. Anna Osborn March 24, 2011 at 8:12 PM #

    I (heart) your blog . . . it’s important to have that one stop that will ALWAYS make me smile. Not to mention the fact that I get to see two of my favorite humans along the way!! Well done – a.

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